How Latvians and Sealanders take care of ASLs
by Crazee Canadia
Summary: A chat room, Peter, and Raivis - all mixed into a fluffy story that includes some SeaLat at the end, and some mentioned others - including a certain character that needs love advice. Rated T for language.


**** *Sob* my finger is jammed! So it's gonna be kinda hard to type this – but I can't wait until my finger is better! OK, so this was inspired by going to an associated website with ICHC, that has nothing but trolling on it. The websites that have the trolling on them are Yahoo Answers, Google, and Omegle. I've tried it before, it's actually kinda creepy. :/ Anyway! This popped up in my head! MUST TYPE!****

"It's a chatting website." Peter explained, "Where you talk to strangers. They don't see your face or anything.

"N-nothing at all?" Raivis asked, hoping he wouldn't meet Ivan on this site.

"Of course not! Omegle is said to be safe, but it has a _lot_ of immaturity on it." Peter looked at Raivis before smiling, "But it's fun to try things like this!" He hit the button letting him start a chat, waiting until it connected him with someone. Then, he typed in his greetings before a message popped up below it, the word _Stranger_ written next to his name.

"Asl? What does that mean?" Raivis asked.

"Ah, a pervert." Peter muttered, "Perfect." He typed in his age (12), his gender (male, duh), and his location, Sealand. He sent it and waited on the response. "Asl means age, sex, and location. Usually a start for a really weird web chat."

The stranger replied: "_Where the hell is Sealand?_"

"O-of the coast of England, right?" Raivis asked.

"Yep, but I'm not gonna put that." Peter typed his reply: "_It's land in the middle of the sea, duh! Sheesh, maybe if you weren't being a pervert you'd know these things._"

A message popped up saying: Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Peter laughed, "That's so much fun! Here, let's go to another one!"

"Is e-everyone on here a perv?" Raivis asked, feeling like he wanted to give this thing a try.

"Not everyone. One time I had to talk to a Greek man, whose cat died, he was pretty torn up about it. Another time I talked to an Italian man about pasta. Sometimes you get people who aren't looking for chat-room sex."

"Thank goodness." Raivis looked at the screen just as the boys were hooked up with another stranger.

Peter typed: "_Hello!_"

The Stranger replied, "_Hey._"

Peter cocked his head, "This is gonna be boring."

That was when another message popped up, "_So, mind if I use you for some advice?"_

"_Depends. What kind of advice?_" Peter sent the message and gave Raivis a questioning look.

The reply read: "_There's this Australian girl I really like, but she doesn't like me back. Well, actually she's from Wy, and I'm from Seborga – both Principalities, if you're wondering – which should make us somewhat friends at least._"

Peter smiled, saying his reply as he typed it;"I know what Principalities are, Sealand is one to. Heard of Sealand? Anyway, hmm… I don't know what to say. Raivis?"

"U-um…" Raivis snatched his novel from the floor, flipping through it before saying, "…this man's wooing the governor's daughter by offering to do her a lot of favors and stuff. M-maybe he could offer to do things for her?"

Peter rapidly typed the rest of his response, "_Ask to do her work for her, or maybe even be smarter then her and do her homework._"

They waited, the notification of the stranger typing on the screen for a minute before the message came through, "_I am smarter then her… and she is about to fail school… and she keeps on peeking at people's papers for answers. I'll take that advice! Thank you!_"

Raivis sighed and leaned back as Peter finished up the chat. "So, want another one?" he asked.

"Go ahead." The Latvian leaned forward.

Peter held the cursor over the button, "Um… do you want me to do your homework?"

"I don't have any. It's summer."

"Oh."

A new chat room opened up, Peter greeted the stranger like normal. "Now, lessee what happens."

The reply was: "_Asl?_"

"Oh dear…" Raivis said, "… let me handle it." He leaned forward and typed his response quickly, "_15, male, Latvia._" He leaned back smugly, "Let's see if he knows where the heck _that_ is."

The Stranger said, "_Where the fuck is Latvia?_"

"You should be offended. It's your home country." Peter muttered as Raivis gave a quick reply. "_Latvia is in Europe._"

"_What part? I'm looking at this map and I can't find it!_"

"Wow, desperate horny." Raivis chuckled while typing, "_It's a Baltic country. Really fuckin' cold here to. So cold my nuts fell off._" Peter leaned very far back in his chair, just as the stranger disconnected.

The boys started another chat, instantly greeted by the Stranger saying: "_I'm the hero!_"

Raivis typed while snorting, "_The hero of what?_"

"_I don't know. Hey, where're you from?_"

"_You're not a perv, are you?_"

"_Oh hell no, I hate perverted chat room messages._"

"_Oh, well, I'm from Latvia, and my friend here with me is from Sealand._"

"_Is it cold there?_"

"_Yup._"

"_I'm dating someone from Canada. He's really nice, makes the world's BEST PANCAKES TO FEED A HERO LIKE ME!_"

Raivis turned to Peter, "This guy's actually kind of interesting to talk to."

"Oh! I wanna type the response!" Peter leaned forward.

In the next thirty minutes, they had learned that this "hero" was an American by the name of Alfred. They talked about how his dad and Peter's brother were both named Arthur, and how hamburgers were supposed to be made.

"_Oh! Gtg, m'date's here!_" Alfred sent.

"_Oh, bye!_" Peter typed.

"_Hey, before I go, here's my email. Send me a message saying it's you!_" Alfred's email address was then on the screen before his disconnected.

"Sweet. I got an American to talk to now!" Peter copied the address.

"B-but what if he isn't an American? W-what if he's a murderer?"

"Raivis, calm down, sheesh!"

Before Raivis had to go, the boys went through fifteen ASL moments (switching out between Latvia and Sealand), talked to a man who kept on wanting to talk about how "awesome" he was, got nightmares from a woman who loved guy-on-guy action ("Guess that's what Hungarian women are like, huh Raivis? Um, why are you so red?"), talked with a Dutch man about pot, and read long paragraphs from a man who loved the color pink and hated how he was single (It's 'cause you like pink to much." Raivis mumbled.)

At the door, Peter stopped the older boy and said; "Wanna come back over tomorrow? We can go on Omegle again!"

"S-sure…" Raivis looked around, "…hey, y'know that guy who asked for dating advice?"

"Yeah, what about him?"

"I think I left something out."

"Whacha leave out?"

Raivis pressed a light kiss to Peter's cheek, "Compliment about what he likes about her." He turned away blushing, "Heh."

Peter was quiet before he grabbed Raivis' shoulder, "I like you to, Raivis."

"S-so I'm still invited for tomorrow?"

"Yep! We should spend our entire summer like this! Going on Omegle and doing random crap while we share a chair." Peter leaned in, "And maybe plan our first date."

Raivis grinned from ear to ear, "That sounds _lovely_ Peter."

And that was how the rest of the summer was spent: Peter and Raivis going onto the same website, while laughing, dealing with ASL messages, occasionally holding hands (trying to forget that scary Hungarian), and planning their first date – going to a café with free WiFi.

oOo

"Hey, Eduard, what's that?"

"Omegle. Raivis showed it to me. He demonstrated what to do when dealing with people who say ASL."

"What's that mean?"

"Age, sex, location, Toris."

"Oh, I see. Wait a second."

"What?"

"Why does this guy want to talk about how he invented everything? And why is he saying he owns your boobs?"

"Holy…"

* * *

****FLUFF. TO. MUCH. FLUFF! Anyway, if you can't tell who everyone is in this thing (Three of them are OBVIOUS – wait, make that four). If you have NO IDEA, leave a review, I'll reply to you. I'll actually read reviews for this one, yay! Oh, and DON'T TAKE A STRANGER'S EMAIL ADDRESS. (Unlike 'lil Peter did.)****

**Should I try one of these myself? I mean, go on Omegle and whenever someone says ASL to me say 15, male, Latvia? Or will you do it and tell me what response you get? **

**Thank you to **_The Wammy Girl_ **for sending me some results!**


End file.
